A Newlywed’s Promise to Her Single Friends

Seven bridesmaids, smiling and laughing, seeing the author Emily as a bride for the first time on her wedding day.

Dear friends,

We tied the knot! We know you’re happy for us, but some of you might be worried that the first day of marriage also means the beginning of “settled” life. While we are no longer ‘single and ready to mingle,’ that doesn’t mean we are settling for anything!

The people you knew before that fateful Tinder swipe are still your friends today, just with rings on our fingers. It may be hard sometimes — with twice as many family obligations and eventually a baby or two — but we are just as committed to making time for our friends as we are to each other.

You heard the vows we made to each other on our wedding day; here is what we’re promising you, too.

Our feelings of wanderlust and love of parties are not going to go away.

Our dreams aren’t limited by marriage or our desire for kids — and we definitely won’t hold yours back, either. We aren’t leaving one world and entering another; we’re still here and we will still go out. (You know how we love to dance!) So please don’t avoid inviting us to things, and we promise to be just as fun as we were when you met us.

Wednesday beers with the guys will still happen. (And so will girls’ weekends!)

Single life may be behind us, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to spend all our time together. The friendships we made formed us into the people we are today, and they are still very important to us. As heartwarming as it is when your spouse builds relationships with your friends, not everything needs to include him or her.

Newlywed couple looks at camera through tunnel formed by two lines of wedding party.

I won’t try to set you up if you don’t want to be.

I understand not everyone wants to be married. Just because we chose marriage doesn’t mean you have to. If you are happy being single or just want to find love on your own, I promise not to try to force you to date someone (even if we think they are perfect for you!). It may be a cliché that married people only spend time with married friends, but we won’t make that come true.

If you need a wingwoman, I am there for you!

We think marriage is awesome and if it’s something you want, too, then we will help you get there in any way you want. Host a dinner party to introduce single friends? I’d love to. Go on a double date with your new boyfriend? Absolutely. Our relationship didn’t happen without the help of some friends, and if you find someone you think could be really special, we will support you.

Your friend then, now, and always,

Emily Mae Mentock

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