Read

“Attention is Our Simplest Gift”

Creator:
Published:
November 28, 2023
September 9, 2018
Living in the moment is a gift to yourself and those around you. Choose to have authentic encounters.

It’s morning, and I’m in a bookstore to pick up a book by Brian Doyle, a writer with a genius to see just how magical the everyday world can be. “There are no little things or events,” he wrote. “None. I am beginning to suspect that this is the theme of everything I ever wrote or ever will write.” I’m beginning to think he’s right. Those little things, in fact, might be the only things. I am in this bookstore first thing, so it is me and two stockers in the stacks. And there are three people waiting for breakfast at the coffee shop counter in the corner. You can smell scorched grain from their toasting bagels. It is quiet. I must be the first customer of the day to approach the counter. There is one salesman behind the sales desk, and it looks like when you drive through the toll-road at 3 a.m. and there’s just the one booth lit up out of eight. I roll up and hand him my book, the one from Brian Doyle, and I’m still groggy as my brain mobilizes from mashed potatoes to something with a backbone attached, a process that takes several hours every day. The salesman, somehow sensing the gravy sloshing around in my head, generously gives me a brief to-the-point greeting that requires no reply and manages the laser scanner and beeping and screen tapping with cheerful efficiency, he and I being the only people in the building at the moment who are involved in the actual selling of a book made out of paper. And it’s just then that the phone behind him rings. He chuckles and looks at me and says, “That phone hasn’t rung all morning.” As if to say, “Isn’t it the darndest thing that just when you’re helping someone you get something beeping at you?” As if to say, “Isn’t life amusing?” As if to say, “Aren’t we in this together?” Which, of course, we are. But he takes the bleeping clatter in stride and doesn’t answer it, because he’s busy helping a human being in front of him. And I hand him some plastic and he hands me some paper and I’m on my way. I don’t know if someone else answered the phone, or if he took the message and returned the call, or if Jill from Cavendish, Vermont, will just have to call back another time to get her question answered. But I do know that he remained with me until we finished our small encounter. And as I set my sail to be pulled into the rest of my workday, all I could think about was the salesman’s graceful presence, and how it told me that we’re in this together. Whatever flashing lights we hold in our hands or beeping noises rattle in our ears, we’re human beings standing in front of each other, right? We’re right here, together. It was lovely to be in the presence of someone who was living in the present moment. The salesman gave me all of his attention, which is not to say that he smothered me with hospitality, it’s just to say that he refused to be in two places at once. And even my dimly-lit brain could recognize that he was preserving something between us — something in which our humanity grows and blooms — that is all too often neglected and if you don’t put a fence around an important thing like that, it just gets trampled and ground to dust. Don’t we need this especially now, in this day and age? To treat each other like human beings — to be one person, undivided? Haven’t we always needed each other like this? I’m here to tell you, it’s the simplest gift to give and receive.

Creators:
Josh Noem
Published:
November 28, 2023
September 9, 2018
On a related note...
Galentine’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Galentine’s Day Spotify Playlist | #GrottoMusic

Grotto

8 Steps to Being a Better Listener

8 Steps to Being a Better Listener

Lillian Fallon

4 Tips for Making Long-Distance Relationships Work

4 Tips for Making Long-Distance Relationships Work

Kate Fowler

A More Mindful Way to Communicate Online

A More Mindful Way to Communicate Online

Jessie McCartney

A Lesson in Patriotism from Ukrainian Refugees

A Lesson in Patriotism from Ukrainian Refugees

Stephanie DePrez

The One Thing Working Mothers Need to Find Balance

The One Thing Working Mothers Need to Find Balance

Katie Prejean McGrady

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship

Olivia T. Taylor

3 Ways to Pursue a Romantic Interest

3 Ways to Pursue a Romantic Interest

Tanner Kalina

Breaking Up Isn’t Easy — Here’s How to Do It Gently

Breaking Up Isn’t Easy — Here’s How to Do It Gently

Stephanie DePrez

3 Ways Introverts Can Maximize Their Gifts

3 Ways Introverts Can Maximize Their Gifts

Lauren Fritz

Ways to Talk About Physical Intimacy with Your Spouse

Ways to Talk About Physical Intimacy with Your Spouse

Krista Steele

How We Can Benefit from Being More Assertive

How We Can Benefit from Being More Assertive

Julia Hogan-Werner

Beyond Mentorship: Why Having a Hero Will Change Your Mindset

Beyond Mentorship: Why Having a Hero Will Change Your Mindset

Emily Mae Mentock

The Power of Feeling "Known"

The Power of Feeling "Known"

Mary Cunningham

How Meta-Emotions Can Escalate Conflict in Your Marriage

How Meta-Emotions Can Escalate Conflict in Your Marriage

Amelia Ruggaber

A Newlywed’s #1 Tip for a Strong Marriage

A Newlywed’s #1 Tip for a Strong Marriage

Anne Ullrich

Why I Changed the Way I Say Hello

Why I Changed the Way I Say Hello

Mariah Cressy

How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Family

How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Family

Julia Hogan-Werner

Facing Death and Finding Life

Facing Death and Finding Life

Matt Paolelli

How to Cope When Your Parents Divorce Later in Life

How to Cope When Your Parents Divorce Later in Life

Dr. Daniel, Bethany Meola

newsletter

We’d love to be pals.

Sign up for our newsletter, and we’ll meet you in your inbox each week.