Read

Navigating Friendships with Coworkers? Keep These 4 Things in Mind

Published:
December 15, 2023
July 21, 2022
Have you been navigating office friendships? Keep these four things in mind.

In high school and college, people pursue learning and an individual degree. How one person performs outside of a group project doesn’t directly affect another’s grades. But what happens when everything is a group project? Life with coworkers means necessary relationships with a totally new goal. It’s no longer a shared grade – it’s the success of the business as a whole, and ultimately, your income.

Relationships with coworkers can be benign, life saving, or ruinous. Here are some tips to keep in mind when navigating friendships at work.

1. Your primarily relationship is built around the shared goals of your workplace

When you start a new job, the desire to be accepted and build a community is good and natural. However, unlike most other situations in life, your “job” is not to make friends. The first order of business is the business. Often a job requires relationships, especially for sales or marketing. But soul-filling, affirming friendships aren’t the goal of a new workplace. They are a possibility, and a benefit when they occur. 

Being close with coworkers is neither “morally correct” or “a bad idea.” Places of work, like any social space, offer a grab-bag of people and personalities that have to be taken on their own terms.  Friendships that detract from your deliverables aren’t going to help your career. Friendships that are supportive and encouraging can help your career flourish. Don’t waste energy on why certain people click or don’t click with you.

2. Boundaries are essential

In a team situation, personalities come out in full force. With the very real issue of salaries on the line, straining to keep up with colleagues can become a job in itself. Boundaries are necessary to ensure that you are able to have the space to complete your work without the added stress and distraction of a team member that requires too much socially or adds stress.

If you are comfortable sharing your life, go for it. Weekend updates, plans for vacations, and family milestones should be celebrated in all of your communities. However, no one should feel obligated to include colleagues in a private social circle. If that happens, wonderful! But it’s okay to feel like the team hermit.

Along with this, everyone should respect the boundaries that others are making. Maybe a colleague has a small child, or is going through a divorce. Maybe they have previous experience in the workplace that leads to caution. Creating and respecting social boundaries in a workplace is prudent.

Let’s be honest: there will always be someone who wants more from you and someone who wants less from you. Don’t let it get you down.

3. You don’t need to remain friends forever

When colleagues click, it’s workplace magic. Friends at work can be the balm that gets you through your day. However, if you are friends with someone based on a professional situation, once that situation changes, the friendship may as well. A “work BFF” might be the closest friend you have for two years, and then rarely spoken to. That’s okay! People come and go . The goal is to have a functional workplace, not a safety circle.

4. HR means you have recourse if things turn sour

Perhaps the safest part of friendships at work is that there is a professional relationship referee built into the structure. Workplace relationships come with scaffolding to address issues and challenges. This is a gift!

Human Resources personnel exist for a reason. If you feel uncomfortable, utilize that resource. When a colleague becomes a friend, it doesn’t mean they abandon being a colleague, and the obligations that come with shared professional goals. One thing young professionals forget is that it’s okay to place a professional relationship above a status as “friends.” At some point, everyone falls into an uncomfortable forced closeness or oversharing situation with a colleague. It’s important to remember that most companies have a built in structure to deal with these issues. 

Do your job and be yourself

The goal of any workplace is to have a happy, satisfied team that is able to accomplish a shared professional mandate. Friendships (and even relationships and marriages!) that grow out of a professional setting are a wonderful fruit of shared work. But they aren't assumed, and shouldn’t be forced. Boundaries and self-awareness are the key to professional relationships. We are naturally social creatures. That is an asset, even when it’s challenging. 

Creators:
Stephanie DePrez
Published:
December 15, 2023
July 21, 2022
On a related note...
‘239 Arts’ Provides Community For Artists in Broadway

‘239 Arts’ Provides Community For Artists in Broadway

Grotto

Fashion Shows Raise Awareness of the Effects of Violence on a Community

Fashion Shows Raise Awareness of the Effects of Violence on a Community

Grotto

50 Years and a Second Chance

50 Years and a Second Chance

Grotto

3 Reasons You Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex

3 Reasons You Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex

Maria Walley

Marriage is About More than Just the Couple

Marriage is About More than Just the Couple

Molly Cruitt

‘I Knew I Was the Only Poor Person’

‘I Knew I Was the Only Poor Person’

Grotto Shares

How Solidarity Heals Divisions — And 3 Ways to Practice It

How Solidarity Heals Divisions — And 3 Ways to Practice It

Mike Tenney

What a Billboard Cannot Say

What a Billboard Cannot Say

David Kilpatrick

What the First Year of Marriage is Really Like

What the First Year of Marriage is Really Like

Krista Steele

South Bend Code School Creates Opportunities

South Bend Code School Creates Opportunities

Grotto

Jesus' Favorite Podcast EP 8: Planning for the Future with Deborah Meyer

Jesus' Favorite Podcast EP 8: Planning for the Future with Deborah Meyer

Grotto, Ebony Moxey, Javi Zubizarreta

Are Your Relationships Too Competitive? Try Shifting to Win/Win

Are Your Relationships Too Competitive? Try Shifting to Win/Win

Khang Tran

4 Timeless Lessons from Time Spent with an Elderly Friend

4 Timeless Lessons from Time Spent with an Elderly Friend

Bethany Meola

How to Choose Your Child’s Godparents

How to Choose Your Child’s Godparents

Jessica Mannen Kimmet

The Key to Finding My Calling in Life

The Key to Finding My Calling in Life

Caelin Miltko

‘I Hated All My Classes’

‘I Hated All My Classes’

Allison Williams

The Joy of These Brothers is Contagious

The Joy of These Brothers is Contagious

Grotto Shares

The Best Groom’s Speech Ever

The Best Groom’s Speech Ever

Isaac Huss

Become a Better Leader by Leading Yourself First

Become a Better Leader by Leading Yourself First

Manda Carpenter

"Point A"

"Point A"

Marjorie Maddox

newsletter

We’d love to be pals.

Sign up for our newsletter, and we’ll meet you in your inbox each week.