I love Valentine’s Day. The hopeless romantic in me loves the idea of a day filled with flowers, a well-planned date night, and plenty of I-love-you’s. Maybe I’ve watched way too many Nicholas Sparks movies, but I can’t deny I’m a sucker for all the romantic gestures of the holiday.
I just have one small problem: I don’t have a man to share the day with this year.
In the past, I might have felt like I was missing out. Maybe I’d plan a Galentine’s Day to fill the void. But this year is different.
I’m okay with being single. My feelings and desires might tell me otherwise, but I know from experience of past relationships that it’s not everything. I don’t need a man to make me happy. Do I want one in my life? Absolutely! But my happiness cannot and should not rest in my relationship status. I refuse to let it.
I refuse to sit here wishing for a boyfriend to make my life better. I’ve made that mistake before. It not only robs my peace and happiness in the present, but also crushes future relationships by the weight of expectation.
Because here’s the thing: Even if I were in a relationship, that guy can never bring me perfect happiness. So it’s unfair to expect them to.
Our society reinforces this idea that “love is all you need,” and that being in a relationship is everything. While this thought is disordered, there is some truth behind it.
Each of us has an innate desire burning in our hearts to be loved. I don’t care who you are or what you do, we all desire to be known, seen, and loved to the core. Our past mistakes, our guard, or just our weaknesses as human beings might cause this desire to be manifested in different ways, but we all want the same thing in the end.
And we are going to satisfy that desire in one way or another.
Some people turn to a romantic relationship, some people turn to addictions and unhealthy habits, some people even turn to work to get the attention and praise of others. But none of these will actually satisfy the deep longing of our hearts to be loved. Sure, your significant other can love you to the best of their ability, but it will never be good enough. We are human and our love is imperfect.
There is only one way to satisfy our deep longing to be loved: accepting the love of a God who loves us infinitely and forever. A God who loves us so much that He came to earth to die for us just so He could have each of us next to Him in heaven one day.
It wasn’t until I let this everlasting love be enough for me that I became content and joyful in my singleness.
Do I still get lonely? All the time. Do I still dream of marrying an awesome guy one day and having children with him? 1,000 percent yes. But I rest in the truth that even if that never happens, even if I never find the man of my dreams, I am still known and loved by a Man who loves me more than anyone on earth. He pursues my heart daily, so what more can my romantic heart ask for?
And the bonus side of this is if and when I do find a man to marry one day, I will be confident and content in the fact that I am already infinitely known and loved. I won’t need a man’s love and attention to make me happy because I already am! Falling in love will be that much sweeter. We won’t be crushed under the weight of expectation — we will be able to give each other our imperfect love and be content with it because we know it’s not everything. Rather, our everything is waiting for us in heaven. Our love will simply be practice for how we should love our first love: Jesus Christ.
Maybe you accept this truth — maybe you’re trying to be content and happy in your period of singleness, but are struggling. I get it. Sometimes it’s much harder to feel the love of God than a human being right next to you.
But have you given Him time? Have you given Him a chance? He is always waiting for you, ready to tell you how much He loves you. He will say it again and again, however many times you need to hear it. He will say it again: I love you.
God is the biggest romantic of them all. Whether you are single or in a relationship, rest in His embrace this Valentine’s Day.